This happened about ten years ago, and I was in my early twenties. I had recently broken up with my long term boyfriend and a good friend of mine invited me to come to a party in her city for a night out to get my mind off things. I was a very inexperienced drinker, had a few too many drinks before even leaving for the bar and opted to stay back at her place.
She lived in an apartment with a few other girls, and one of the girls boyfriend and his friends also stayed back to have a few more drinks before going to the bar.
I was in my friends room and could clearly hear the group of guys (I think there was at least 3), discussing how they should rape me before going to the bar. They talked about how they might strike out with the girls at the bar, and they wanted to make sure they got an ‘easy lay’ before they headed out.
At that point I realized I had to do something. I was in my friends room, I didn’t have my phone near me and I honestly panicked. At that point I jumped up and locked the door, I moved whatever furniture I could possibly move to block the door.
They guys were banging on the door, yelling that I needed to come out for some fun.
They weren’t able to get in and eventually they gave up and left. But I often think about what would happen if I didn’t move.
It’s really disturbing to hear a group of twenty something men, openly discuss raping a woman.
Edit: This post really blew up and I cannot express how compassionate and supportive soooo many of the comments and private messages have been. Thank you for nurturing this conversation and thank you for sharing similar personal experiences.
For those of you who’ve asked - This happened in a small university town in Canada. I want to point out, in my perception Canada is still grappling with a culture of widespread sexism.
The guys who were talking about assaulting me were later charged with assaulting someone else at the bar. Police later questioned me about the assault, but didn’t seem too concerned about what I was sharing with them. If your interested in further reading I would highly recommend reading Robyn Doolittle’s article Unfounded .
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