TIFU by buying my wife a sex book

Our sex life has been pretty boring for the three years we’ve been married. We are both on our second marriage, I’m a widower and she’s divorced.

My late wife was very very adventurous and her first husband was vanilla missionary or nothing.

Over lunch yesterday we talked about sex and how it’s become mundane with her admitting that she’s only really ever felt comfortable with “ordinary” sex because that’s all she’s known. I suggested we get a book for her to read to get an idea of what she might like to try.

So we went into town to the bookshop and bought a book which she spent the next three hours reading in the bath.

Come bed time, 9pm unusually, I’m dragged to bed and set upon in very pleasurable way until about an hour in I feel fingers caressing my anus and perineum. Then a finger followed and to my surprise the one and only vibrator (a small one) we have was pushed inside of me. Much pleasure was had until my wife gasped and started to sound worried.

Behind me I felt a lot of fumbling, wife was sounding worried then just stopped and said sorry. I asked what had happened, the vibe had slipped (been pushed) a little to far and had gone all the way in.

For the next hour we tried to excrete the thing and finally gave up, still buzzing inside.

As we’d both had a drink a taxi was booked and a trip to A&E was made.

It took only a few minutes with a speculum, lube and forceps to remove the then quiet vibe from me and after promising to be more careful in future we returned home.

This morning I skipped my normal bike ride and have sat gingerly at my desk.

Wife just wandered in and wondered if I’d like to get a bigger vibe so it doesn’t get stuck. I don’t know what I’ve awakened.

Tldr: bought wife a sex book and ended up in a&e with vibe stuck in my anus.

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