UPDATE :My (26M) girlfriend (25F) has grown distant after I got beat up defending a group of girls being harassed

First of all I want to thank every single one of you who commented on my last post. The love and support I received was immense and it actually made me feel a little better in the mess of it all. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. All of the following happened yesterday so excuse me if I ramble a bit , it's all fresh in my mind.


Mandatory: I have been with my gf Sarah for 3 years and been living together for 1.5. She is honestly everything I have ever wanted and I planning on proposing somewhere next year.

So 3 weeks ago I was out with Sarah at a local bar drinking and having a great time with her as it was just after quarantine had ended where I live. At around 3 am we decided to head home. As we headed to the parking lot where we had parked we noticed a group of 2 girls and a guy who was clearly drunk trying to hit on them and get them to go to his house. The girls were clearly very uncomfortable and trying to find a way out. Sarah told me that we had to do something and I told her go call the cops and get someone as well because the very leat I wanted was her to get hurt during this.

So I approached the group and try to pretend I was the boyfriend of the one of the two girls and long story short I got my ass kicked. The guy was at least 6ft4 and 220 lbs where as I'm 5ft11 167lbs . I'm fairly mascular myself but there was no way I could have taken someone that big, I knew it from the start. At least from all the noise we had made a lot of people rushed the scene and the girls got away safe. I was rushed to the ER because the motherfucker had broken my ribs which had punctured my right lung. Yay.

After that incident Sarah has grown a distant from me. Even though she visited and stayed with me at the hospital she hasn't been the same since. And I thought she just needed time to move past this. However 5 days ago she told me that she is not the same person after what happened and she doesn't know if she feels safe with me after I got beat up like that. Honestly hearing that hurt me more than when I got my ribs broke. She has moved to her parents for the time being and she told me she needs time. Meanwhile I had no one here to help me so my brother left his 2 boys and wife to move in with me. I know I'm just venting at this point but I don't want this to be over like that. Reddit is there anything I can do to salvage the situation?


Until yesterday it had been 14 days since my last contact with Sarah. My brother had left 4 days prior because I felt bad keeping him away from his family for so long, plus I could take care of myself to some extent. So around 2 pm while I was making lunch I hear the doorbell ring. I go to open the door and there she is. Sarah. With tears in her eyes, eye bags, frizzy hair,looking like a total mess. During the time we've been together I've seen her in her ups downs but I'd never seen her in such horrible state before. So I let her in she sits on the couch , we haven't still said a word as we were both dumbfounded. I was so overwhelmed by emotions, I wanted to hug her, I wanted to full on blast on her, I didn't even know what I wanted to do. So I did nothing and waited for her to talk.

After 5 or 10 minutes of silence she starts sobbing and saying she's sorry and, then full on crying. At this point I can barely hold myself together. So I hold her hand and try to calm her down so I can figure out what is going on. After a while she finally somewhat calms down and starts talking. And that's where it got bad.

Something that I didn't include in the original post, because it wouldn't make sense to anyway is that Sarah's mother has been divorced and remarried once. From what Sarah has told me, her biological father cheated on her mother while she was still a kid and that's why they broke up. And that's also why she doesn't have any kind of relationship with her father. It seemed odd when I first learned about it, but I didn't question it. That is not the whole story though.

Sarah's biological father didn't only cheat on her mother. He was a drug addict pos, that also used to beat her up frequently. Without getting into a lot of graphic detail in one instance when Sarah's brother tried to intervene and protect her mother he ended up getting beat up too. So when she saw me intervening and getting my ass kicked in the bar incident it triggered some kind of PTSD in her head that she could not control . That's why she had grown distant and eventually left. It all spiraled out of control and she could not handle it.

In those two weeks we'd been apart she'd barely eaten or slept and even made some really dark thoughts which I'd rather not go into. She told me is a horrible girlfriend for leaving me alone in my condition and that she doesn't expect us to be together again after that,which I told her isn't the case.

So we have a very long road ahead of us. My number one priority right is getting her to see a therapist, which I suggested we can do together if she's scared to do alone.

So yeah that's where we are at. Some of you were right, that there was some deeper issue behind what happened but I could not have possibly known.

I also wanted to take this opportunity to say something that I got messaged about a lot. I got a lot of comments and messages saying that I was a moron for what I did at that parking lot and that I should mind my own buisness next time and not play the hero, etc . First of all I did not initiate the fight with the dude. As I said when I got there I tried to pretend I was the boyfriend of the one of the girls in case. When that didn't work I got between the girls and the dude trying to create some space between them and that's when he started to push me and eventually started throwing punches.

Secondly no matter how hard I hit the gym I would never be able to take that guy one on one. As I said I'm pretty fit, and I've been working out for several years but the fella was a lot bigger than me. Unless I had a gun or something, which isn't legal in my country I was doomed.

Finally for the people telling me to mind my own business, well let me you that what exactly what I was doing. It is mine and everyone else's responsibility to look after the ones who can't protect themselves is this shitty world. No, I do not consider myself a hero, nor did I do it for the show. I did it because in some other instance one of those girls could have been my girlfriend, sister, mother needing help. And these girls were somebody else's girlfriend, sister or mother . If I was put in that situation a hundred more times I would act the same.

Edit:I also talked to her about the proposal I wanted to make this year. I was planning on doing it as a surprise but in the way the things have turned out I figured it would be better if she knows it first. We both agreed it should be delayed for now.


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