that’s a special kind of idiot

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TIFU I Choked On Candy While in the Shower

I (a 18m) fucked up tonight.

It was about time I was going to bed, but I needed to take a shower. Right before I went to the bathroom, I popped a warhead sour candy in my mouth. I went to the bathroom, stripped down and hopped in the shower. just as I put my head up in the shower to rinse my face, the warhead in my mouth slipped back and got stuck in my throat AND I STARTED CHOKING. I realized this, and after a few seconds of 'AWGHWAGWHAGWH' I jumped out of the shower and RAN out of the bathroom, to my parents room, the only place where people are that could help me. I BARGED into their room, cheeks out, balls-a-dangling, and continued my 'AWAGWGHAWGAHW' noises. Their initial reaction is what you would expect for you to run in buck naked in front of your parents. Then, they realized I was choking, and my dad jumped out of bed, grabbed me and proceeded to do the Heimlich maneuver on me. That hurt like hell, I'll tell you that. after a few reps, the warhead in my throat shot out and landed on the carpet. I collapsed on the ground, soaking wet, legs splayed with His Majesty in full view. I then realized what just happened and I, AN 18 YEAR OLD DUDE, am lying naked in front of my VERY CONCERNED STARING parents. I grabbed the candy, which was lying next to me, shouted a thank you, and BOOKED IT back to the bathroom.

I haven't seen either of my parents since, I would like to book a 3am flight to Alaska, if anybody can do that for me HMU

TL;DR I choked on candy while in the shower, and my parents had to do the Heimlich maneuver on my naked self.

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