Gurudwaras are the holy place of worship for the Sikh religion. People from all backgrounds and all faiths are always welcome into a gurudwara. In almost all gurudwaras around the world, they also offer free food (Langar) and a place to sleep if needed. The people are also extremely helpful and will do what they can to help you out.
First post is here, for anyone wondering: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/iymv65/my_22f_brothers_16m_girlfriend_keeps_eating_my/
So, I came home from work today, and yes, some of my food was eaten. But I guess that is to be expected.
He was sitting in the living room, on his phone, blasting music. Whatever. I asked him If we could talk in twenty minutes. He asked what for, so I told him that I just wanted to talk about this living situation. He just shrugged and turned back to his phone.
So I went to my room and prepared to tell him whats up. I had memorized the gist of what u/Ruthless_Bunny said, and pumped myself up. I didn't want to get all shaky during the conversation and start tearing up, if he started insulting me again.
I told myself that he was only 16. That he was living under MY roof. I told myself that there is no reason that a teenager should be able to make me cry so easily.
So yeah, I pretty much did that for a little bit, left my room, then went into the living room, and asked him to turn off the music so we could talk. He annoyingly told me that I was only gone for 18 minutes and that he still had 2 minutes left. I know you guys told me not to be a doormat, but I couldn't stop myself from just saying Ok, walking back to my room, and coming back in two minutes. I'm kind of sad, I know.
Before I went back out, I started recording... in voice notes on my iPhone, and put my phone in my pocket, so I could listen to the conversation after it was over, and then type everything that was said, in this post.
I came back in the two minutes, and he had turned off the music. I sat down next to him, and took a deep breath. He said I was acting goofy. I ignored that comment and just started talking.
I started off by saying, "I am your sister, and I love you, but what you said yesterday about my hair was not okay. I am not required by law to house you, so I will need you to be more respectful towards me"
I didn't even get to finish my entire spiel before he cut me off and told me that I was "acting real white", and told me to "cut that corny ass mr rogers shit out"
Honestly, I suddenly got really pissed. I was just so freaking tired of him constantly being disrespectful towards me. I think what I did next was the worst thing I could've done, but I just yelled at him to get the fuck out.
He just laughed and asked me if I was serious.
I just yelled, "get the fuck out", again. And then I added, "or I am calling the cops".
He seemed to be able to tell that I was serious at this point, and suddenly started acting differently. He started to go on about how I was over reacting, and how he was a young black man in America, and that kicking him out could possibly result in his death, and how If I kicked him out, I would be complicit in white supremacy. Then he just started repeating "A pig could shoot me", over and over.
At this point, I was kinda seeing red. Because I felt like he was being really manipulative, and I just thought that that kind of manipulation really evil to try to pull on his own sister.
I regret this so much, but I replied to him, "I hope one does, and afterwards, I will gladly take the time to make T-shirts with your name on them."
He seemed very taken aback. He then suddenly stopped pleading, told me to watch my back, then starting heading towards the door.
I felt so bad for what I had just said, I honestly wanted to cry, so as he was walking to the door I yelled at him that he could stay if he just showed me and my living space a little respect
He didn't even turn back to look at me when he replied, "I have too much pride as a man to respect a black bitch."
That honestly really gutted me. He pretty much said I was worthless. I was honestly cut to the freaking bone. I wanted to say something back, but I feared my voice would be too shaky, and I would sound pathetic.
He walked out, and slammed the door behind him.
I'm not gonna lie to you guys, I cried for hours. I feel like I should've handled that way differently. But I got too upset. And I'm not blaming you guys at all, but people in the first thread were telling me not to be a doormat, and it all just added up to me lashing out at him. I really don't want him to get shot by a police officer. I was just trying to hurt him like he had hurt me. I don't know what to do at this point, honestly. He has drug friends who post pictures on instagram with guns so I don't know if I should be scared since he told me to watch my back. I think I should maybe just change my locks and put his stuff outside of the door? What do you guys think? This is really terrible.
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