Anyone who does report their rapist is showing a lot of strength. Strength that I just do not have.
First, you have to explain to complete strangers what happened to you. Strangers who will question you, write down everything, and probe for details. Rape is sex related, and like anything sex related, it’s very hard to discuss things that feel so private with strangers.
Second, the rape kit. You have to go to the hospital and basically get violated again. Photos of your injuries, samples of fluids and hair from your body, etc. No thanks.
Third, if it goes to court, that’s point #1 all over again, but worse.
I’m lucky in that I actually moved beyond being raped pretty easily. It doesn’t haunt my dreams or really bother me much at all anymore. It was hard for one day: the day it happened.
If I had decided to report it and tell anyone though? It would probably still be bothering me to this day.
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