Every one of my son’s action figures have a six pack and huge muscles. My son always asks me when his six pack will appear, as if it’s something that all men need to have and it breaks my heart because he is perfect the way he is. I think there should be more range of body types in toys geared toward boys.
I feel like mens body issues aren’t promoted and accepted as much as women’s issues. A ripped body is an unobtainable and unrealistic standard for the majority of men. It’s so damaging, plus the support and awareness isn’t there for men.
I have numerous male friends and family with disordered eating behaviours that are in complete denial of their issues- think: exercise addiction, obsession with macros, supplements, skewed perception of their appearance. It’s bad and so worrying to see- and so common.
Edit: Just wanted to say that this doesn’t take anything away from women’s body issues or the women’s body positivity movement. Both go hand in hand and need to be tackled- preferably by promoting real bodies and standards for men AND women.
Edit 2: There’s a huge difference between promoting normal healthy eating and exercise habits, and going to the gym 6 days a week to get ripped, with supplements, shakes and watching macros.
That goes without saying.
I obviously promote a healthy lifestyle to my son. If he decides to become a bodybuilder when he’s older, I will be behind him 100%.
To add to this, some people could work out to an insane level and simply not get the results as the next guy, it’s a genetic lottery in some ways. This is what’s damaging.
We both are 22. I have known this girl since primary school and always have had a crush on her, but she never reciprocated it so i moved on from her when we went to different unis. 3 years ago she went to med school, started a good paid job as a tutor and was super successful, while i was struggling to pay my tuiton fees. I saw her in summer of 2019, and then in 2020 i didn't see her because of the pandemic, but we also fell out of touch sadly. This spring, my relationship with my now ex ended and a few days ago i decided to visit a brothel in my hometown.
Went inside and they told me to choose a girl beforehand (online) but i told them it did not matter to me who it was, so i paid and got my room. Went in there, and there she was standing. She looked frightened and confused and to be honest, i couldn't believe it was her.
I could have turned away and get out but i didn't. I went on with it. I guess i never really got over her. I felt so guilty. And even after the time was up i wanted it to go on. But at the same time it was so freaking sad. She looked miserable and tired. We didn't say a word until in the end i asked her what happened with her studies and job and she said 'guess i went from all into nothing'.
It really bugs me now that i just did not damned turned away. I also hate myself from not knowing what was up with her earlier or helping her out. I fucked up badly.
TLDR; I had sex with a friend (for who i had feelings for in the past) who works in a brothel now, i did not know i would see her there but i could have turned back and i didn't, and now i feel like crap
I already mentioned in the comments that i sent her an apology over text and if i could help her in any way. She replied back to me with this (i got her consent of posting it here):
'I just could reply to you now. As you already noticed by now... i switched careers. Was it my choice? Not really. Due to anorexia, bulimia, and a depression i had to stop medical school and my tutoring job. I ended up without anything and found that working in this brothel would earn me enough money to take care of myself and my mom. This job is just so physically demanding, to satisfy every man every half an hour or sometimes even more that i really am starting to feel burned out again. I thought stopping 'mental' work would save me, but this is so much more difficult to maintain. That is why i looked that way. I am not hurt with you coming in yesterday and with everything that happened. You were a client at that moment and i could refuse you. But i didn't. You know why? Because all the guys who come in and touch me don't give a damn about me. They just want the deed to be done. At least i know you do. You do give a damn about me. You did not even choose me on purpose and if you are at fault here, then i am too. I don't need help but thanks for the offer. Let's not make all of this change our friendship and go on like our older days. I still want to pursue my studies and when i said from all into nothing, i hope i can turn it around again one day. Hope you are well.'
Last edit on this post: Thanks everyone for all the comments. The raw and honest ones, comforting ones, and all the other ones. Some think it's fake and if you do- be my guest. I just wanted to post a raw and real moment of regret on here. I know i fucked up, really big. The response is really from her, and if you don't believe it, again, that's up to you then. We are trying to be on good terms and i offered to take her out to the lake in the weekend, and offered hugs on which she agreed on. I'm really thankful on how everything turned out and i will try to help her in any way she needs. The place where this all happened is Amsterdam. This post has so many comments now that it's impossible to keep it up. I'll log off now and wish you guys the best. Thanks and stay safe.
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