“Your Honor”. I mean gimmie a fuckin’ break, dude. What else do you want me to call you? Your highness? Do you want me to fondle your nuts while I blow you, too?
I’ve seriously seen courtrooms where they’ll say “Sir” and the judge will be like “It’s “Your Honor” young man!!”
Fuck off. How much of an egotist you gotta be to care about some medieval-ass title?
It’s some LARPING I’d expect kids to do. “Oh Billy you have to call me supreme ruler snorlax the magical wizard!!1!”
So my wife loves to watch Tiktok videos at 100% volume while I watch shows she doesn’t really care for. Eventually I just give in and watch them with her on her phone. (Some of them are actually decent)
One started as a prank video between a husband and wife. The mildly attractive wife in the tiktok made up a story about her normal spa being closed and she needed her husband to wax her booty hole. And that completely grossed the husband out.
My wife then looks up at me and jokingly asks, “Would you shave my butthole?”
Without thinking or missing a beat I respond, “No, but I would shave her butthole.”
Instant regret flooded my whole body. I didn’t mean it but I knew that didn’t matter. She turned bright red with tears in her eyes and stormed off. Then I said the least likely sentences I ever thought I would utter to my wife as an apology. “Baby, come back. I didn’t mean it. I would love to shave your butthole.”
She has not talked to me in 3 hours.
TL;DR - TIFU by telling my wife I would shave some random woman’s turd cutter on tiktok before I would shave hers.
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