TL;DR - My husband loves a certain sex act, I stopped doing it a year ago, he came into a windfall of money last week and wants to use a portion of this money to see prostitutes.
I [F27] will try not to make this post too graphic, but be warned, it involves sex.
My husband [M31] is really into anal sex. If he could, he'd do it every time we were intimate. I never particularly liked it, but I would do it to make him happy 2-3 times a month.
After a particularly painful incident last year, I swore off anal sex for good. He's been good about respecting my boundaries and he's never pushed for it again, however the frequency in which we have sex has dropped off dramatically.
Last week, my husband somehow made $30,000 in the stock market. This is a huge sum of money for us, we've never experienced a windfall like this ever. Yesterday I asked to have a discussion about how we should allocate this money - house repair, car repair, retirement fund, etc.
This is where things get messed up. He tells me matter-of-factly that he's setting aside $2,000 to have anal sex with prostitutes. I said are you fucking kidding me? He says he's been sexually unfulfilled for almost a year and if I want to see a dime of this money, I must approve of him doing this.
We ended up getting in a huge fight where accused me of doing a "bait and switch" because I stopped wanting anal sex shortly after getting married. He said if he'd have known I would do this, he never would have married me. This was such a hurtful thing to hear, I hope to God he didn't actually mean it. I basically cried myself to sleep after this while he slept in the basement.
I haven't spoken to him since our fight. I don't even know what to do or say. This is totally out-of-character for him. He is a monogamous man who has never acted this callously. I shared this with one friend whom I trust, she thinks he's just venting pent-up frustration and doesn't actually want to see prostitutes. I don't know what to think.
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