I live in the UK but come from a cultural background where arrange marriages are the norm. My parents claimed they wouldn’t push me into an arranged marriage but when I was 25, my husband’s parents approached them about it. His parents are family friends of my uncle’s family and incredibly wealthy, so my parents and uncle really pushed for me to accept. They kept going on about how they wouldn’t be able to find anyone better and he was the perfect ‘catch’.
I spoke to my husband a few times beforehand and he told me he had a girlfriend who he wanted to marry but his parents rejected her. We ended up coming to an agreement that we would get married but it would just be for show. He would let me do whatever I wanted, and he could continue seeing his girlfriend. The only ‘rule’ we had is that neither of us could have a child with anyone else and we didn’t make it obvious enough to get caught by our families. I guess we had an open marriage of sorts.
We got married and he continued to see his girlfriend after our honeymoon. I got to travel and do things I would probably never be able to afford otherwise. Things were great until I found out I was pregnant about two months later. He ended up breaking up with his girlfriend when I was 6 months because she kept demanding he have a baby with her too because it “wasn’t fair” and he eventually caught her poking holes in their condoms. I expected him to find another girlfriend, but he didn’t.
When the lockdown hit, we were both stuck in the house together, so we naturally started spending more and more time together. I’ve started noticing we actually have a lot more in common than we thought and I’m starting to catch feelings. I don’t know if or how I should bring this up to him. Our agreement has been working well for us and this could potentially ruin it. I need advice, please.
TL;DR – I married my husband to appease my parents but we had an agreement our marriage would just be for show. He ended his relationship with his girlfriend when I got pregnant and now that we’ve been spending more time with each other during the lockdown I’m starting to catch feelings.
Edit to clarify: Our son is already born. His girlfriend knew and agreed to the arrangement. Having kids was part of the agreement. We only slept together once but it was awkward after so we decided to hold off on the kids part.
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