I like to think I am an ally to the LGBTQI+ community. Equal rights are important to me and everyone deserves to be who they are. I am a cis white female and I have never been attracted to a transgender male and only one person who is non-binary. I don’t want to harbour prejudice or think differently of transgender people inside. Is it okay to be an ally but not be attracted to transgender people?
if I used any inappropriate or incorrect language, please do correct me as I am always looking to learn!
u/eliminator127 did an amazing job here, and I feel like there's a couple more things that I could add on to help you girls out, because damn, I wish the girls I dated/talked to would've done these things.
- Giving a dude a hug is literally the best thing ever, and it can still be just a normal friendly hug. I remember back in February, I was talking to a couple of girls about some tough things that I was going through and at the end of the class they both hugged me and said that I could talk to them anytime. I still think about that day from time to time and they've become close friends of mine.
- Don't be pressured to wear makeup all the time. Yeah, y'all look good with makeup, but if we're close then I could care less, especially if it's just the two of us.
- If you know a guy likes you, don't be afraid to make the first move. We're always so worried about rejection and usually it's pretty clear that a guy's into you, but we suck at taking hints. It's okay to make the first move, and if you do, our confidence goes through the roof.
- We don't need sex. Seriously, except for the few horndogs in here, we're totally good without it. It's overrated, I won't do it again until marriage or until I know I'm with The One.
- The best way to flirt with us is to laugh at our jokes, show some physical affection, and show that you want to be with us. If you give that vibe that you like talking to me and hanging out with me, I can pick it up, and most guys can too.
- Don't be afraid of being too clingy. The first relationship I was in, she was always worried about being clingy or too "all-over-me." Tbh, I liked that she showed me attention and I never thought it was a problem, even after telling her it was okay.
- Sometimes we're assholes but we don't mean to be. We just don't understand sometimes that our tone or words can come off differently than we intend, and we can have no clue what we did wrong. Be honest with us and good guys will work on it and learn.
- Sometimes we need a friend more than a girlfriend. The best friends I've ever had were girls I tried to get with, then I get friend zoned, and we form a great friendship. Stuff like that is wholesome and I'm grateful for those rejections because I need them.
- If you can figure out what the guy likes, show a little interest. For me it's a little different. I work at a summer camp, and I love working with kids. I head back to work tomorrow for the rest of the summer. Girls that work great with kids is sooo attractive to me, and a lot of other guys. But it can be sports, hobbies, shows, music, etc.
Confidence is key, and if you show confidence, even if internally you aren't (trust me I'm self-conscious as hell), we'll notice and it's super attractive. Hope y'all have a good Sunday evening!
Edit: Damn, thank y'all for all the love! I told y'all no awards lol. If anyone needs to just talk to someone, my DM's are open! We gotta spread more love in this world.
Whenever anyone found out that I was learning German as my second language their first response was always “oooo say something!” So I practiced a phrase I could say in perfect German that sounded super fancy but all I would say was “sometimes I put pickles on my sandwich” People who didn’t speak German had no idea what I said but I said it so clearly that they were always impressed!
My boyfriend and I both currently work in (different) restaurants. I work as a server, and he works as a bar manager.
Yesterday, he came home from work and was fairly distant and quiet. I could tell his mind was elsewhere. So, I prodded a little bit over the course of a few hours, as I was concerned for him.
Well, when he opened up...I was shocked.
Yesterday, a family of 5 walked into his restaurant, and the father wasn’t wearing a mask. Currently, his restaurant requires that everyone wears a mask while entering the building, walking around the building, working, or leaving the building. And they hold to it.
So, a young teenage hostess asked the father if he had a mask...they have masks to provide to guests should they not have one.
The mother answered “Oh! He doesn’t wear a mask.” And chuckled.
The father...then lifted his shirt, revealing a gun on his hip, and stated “When you have one of these, you don’t need a mask!”
The hostess made a quick and smart decision...she de-escalated the situation and sat the family at a table closest to the door.
She then immediately informed my boyfriend and the front of house manager of what happened.
Both managers assessed the situation, and decided to call the police. When the police showed up, they escorted the father to the parking lot. A few minutes later, the father re-entered the building, spoke with his family quietly, and they left the restaurant.
Can you imagine being a teenager making minimum wage, being threatened by a grown man with a gun...over a mask being required on private property??
He literally threatened a teenager with a gun in order to gain access to private property...all because he didn’t want to comply with restaurant’s mask requirements, which are in line with current CDC recommendations and government mandates...
The hostess must be terrified to go back to work!
I’m terrified to go back to work at my restaurant!
My boyfriend worries if the father will retaliate, and if others will act as the father did...
I’ve rarely worried for my safety at work or the safety of others...but, fuck this guy for making so many people so fearful just to go to work, pay their bills, and live their lives!
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