TL;DR: Got caught going to brown town on my wife by my 4 year old daughter because I didn't lock the door.
This happened literally 10 minutes ago. I'm dying laughing. My wife is mortified.
My wife and I haven't had a whole lot of alone time recently. Our 4 year old hasn't been sleeping well and comes to our bed to snuggle and sleep with us most nights. Tonight, after a few glasses of wine, we decide that tonight is the night. We tell our daughter to leave our room, and shut the door on the way out. I did NOT however, tell her to lock it.
Shenanigans begin. Now, I like eating my wife's ass. It's just what I do. After a few minutes of getting to business, my wife starts frantically hitting me on the head and shouting, "Babe babe babe!!" I look up from my wife's thighs and see our 4 year old, LITERALLY IN BED WITH US, laughing her ass off, and the first words out of her mouth are, "Why is daddy sniffing your butt??" I immediately extracate myself from the situation, roll over, and die laughing into my pillow.
About this time, our 18 year old walks up to our bedroom door to check in on the situation. My wife and I, both clearly naked under the sheets, are dying laughing as our 4 year old reports to her big sister, "I saw daddy kissing mommy's butt!" Our eldest knows exactly what just happened and she herself starts dying of laughter in the doorway. A mixture of humor and terror overtake my wife, and finally she gives in and starts laughing her ass off. We eventually banish our little gremlin back to her bedroom and our eldest makes popcorn and goes back to her room.
I'm lying here with my wife right now, laughing our asses off, drinking wine, and watching "Veep" for the 50th time.
Edit: We are about 30 minutes out of the.... Incident. My wife is freaking out thinking what our daughter is going to tell her daycare teacher tomorrow. She keeps rubbing her forehead saying, "I can't believe what just happened."
She was getting ready to leave and asked how she looked. I wasn’t really paying attention so I just said “You look fine.” And she said “Fine? Just fine?” I said yeah. So she says “I don’t want to look fine, I want to look nice.” So I go “Okayyy…you look nice then?” Then she just groans and storms off.
Guys, has something like this ever happened to you?
Edit: Lots of people saying she probably was upset I didn’t notice how much extra time she put into her appearance today…she didn’t. She looked like she does every day.
Edit 2: After careful consideration, I’m an idiot.
I have been keeping bees as a hobby for six years now. I have 4 hives in my suburbian backyard along with a large garden.
My hives are all properly registered and are legal to keep in my town as of right now.
The problem is that my new neighbors have asked me to get rid of my bees. They purchased the house and moved in over the winter and hadn't noticed my girls until this spring.
Apparently their son is highly allergic to bee stings. He has been hospitalized more than once and has to carry an epi pen.
They asked nicely but seemed a little upset when I said I don't think I could do that. They didn't push the issue with me further but I saw a rant on nextdoor that I am sure was written by them.
Some time after that some of the bee hating nextdoor people when to our town board and tried to get bee keeping outlawed in our town. Luckily it didn't pass and they had mentioned in the minutes that current bee keepers would have to be grandfathered in if it did (Because of that I am even more wary of giving it up in case they do bring this legislation up again If I have active hives I can keep them)
My neighbors and I aren't really on speaking terms now.
AITA For wanting to keep doing my hobby?
EDIT: Thank you for your input everyone
Since many have suggested this - I DO already have security cameras in place. All around my house and pointing directly at the hives. You cannot access the hives without spending significant amount of time on video. The hives are also behind locked fences.
I just purchased a sign to put on their* gate that says this area is under video surveillance and will be affixing that to their gate ASAP.
*by their I mean the bee's gate!
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