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The mechanism of an ancient Egyptian lock

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TIFU by having a date with a girl from the pet store and ended up having to explain to the cops why she's not breathing in my lobby

Strap yourselves in ladies and gentlemen. You're in for a ride.

I posted this in a comment thread of r/ask and people on there requested I put it on "somewhere this story will get the recognition it deserves" and I was directed to here.

Ok a little back story I got a rescue puppy back in January and she was terrified of everything and everyone. There was a pet store down the street I used to carry her to to try and expose her to the outside world and other people.

The girl who worked at the pet store instantly bonded with my puppy, wow. My dog wouldn't let anyone else go near her without her crying or peeing or being terrified. So naturally we became regulars, and the more and more I interacted with this girl and the more I saw her interactions with my dog an other people in the store she seems super sweet and just an all around good person. I asked her for her number, even though I felt uncomfortable doing that to a woman in her place of work but she seemed receptive, so that's good. It's also surprisingly hard to meet some one in my city.

We exchange a few messages and go out for a walk with my dog together. Everything seems great. She's educated. Cute. Loves animals. Everything seems great.

We end up back at my place for a few drinks (4or 5 max) this is kind of an important detail, and we stopped drinking around 10pm. And she ends up staying over. Now here's where it all goes downhill.

I awoke up in the middle of the night and she was yelling at herself about how her dad is an asshole, and some other crazy talk, very scattered subjects, hence why I can't be more specific but that one stuck out to me. Very strange behaviour for 2 am.

I tried to calm her down or try and figure out what the fuck was going on. She didn't even seem to notice she was doing it, "oh I'm sorry did I wake you?" We had a really nice evening, But this girl just turned crazy. There was clearly something wrong she wasn't shouting at me. She wasn't even shouting at her self just in to nothing, in to a void.

I repeatedly tried to stop her, but she couldn't see the issue as if she wasn't even aware she was doing it. Eventually I just gave up and went to sleep on the sofa because I just couldn't deal with it.

She came in and cried.and said she didn't mean to upset me and can we just go back to sleep together.

Sure. That's all I wanted anyway. Can we please just sleep and can you please just stop shouting/ yelling / talking?

When we got to the bedroom she turned around and she had the craziest eyes I've ever seen (and I've dated red heads). And says "don't you ever fucking talk to me like that ever again or I swear to god...." Now at this point I've seen behavior like this before and it's very concerning.

-Nope. Get out. I cut her short on whatever threats she was going to make. Get the fuck out.

Cue crying again "but I'm a girl you can't do this to me"

Yeah I don't care I'm not doing. This it's two am and I'm not having you talk to me like this.

At this point there was a lot of back and forth from crying of "but how am I meant to get home" jumping to "well fuck you I'm leaving". So she gathers her things and claims to not know how to get out the building. It's a condo building. You walk down the hall to an elevator. If there isn't an elevator. You went the wrong way so go the other way down the hall. Bearing in mind she lives in a condo building 3 blocks away. It's not like she doesn't know how a condo works or what area she in in.

So I offer to walk her to the door, or at least the elevator, I want her out. But I'm not just going to throw her literally out the door with out her things. I just want her out, there's clearly something not right and I don't want to deal with whatever it is or whatever will come of more of this behaviour. So I help her gather her things and open the door for her and start showing her where the elevator is.

Walking down the hall she collapsed! Like dead weight. And no she wasn't faking it. She was out cold, out of the blue. Just folded up right there in the hall.

Now here's where I fucked up.

My thought process was 'hell nah, you're still leaving'. So I drag her unconscious body down the hall and bundle her in the elevator. (Yup. Very aware this was a mistake in hindsight)

Bearing in mind I was not expecting to be leaving, so you can imagine the look on the concierge's face when I rock up out of the elevator in my boxers shorts saying 'aw man i fucked up you gotta help me here'.

He's dialling 911 and sure enough, the elevator disappeared, up to the 4th floor. We called it back but obviously someone had tried to use the elevator and the door would have opened up to that train wreck. I'm sure the look on their face would have been priceless, anyway it came back and she was still unconscious. We're talking to the 911 operator answering the base questions, address. What happened etc, and just like a horror movie we turn around and she's awake! Stood there. Crazy eyes and all.

She was awake long enough to yell at the concierge before she passed out again. This time hitting her head on the marble floor of the lobby.

I'll never forget the sound of her head hitting the floor. Or the concierge's "ooooo" wince at the sound of it.

So here's how the 911 call went. He's on speaker phone with me and the concierge there.

911: ok. So I need you to say 'now' every time she takes a breath. And I don't want you to stop until I say so, do you understand? Me: yep. Got it 911: ok start now ...... 911: ok I don't think you understand my instructions, Me: no dude. I understood. 911: ok so start now and don't stop until I say so. Go. Me: ok ........ 911 again ... Me : dude. I understand. If she takes a breath I'll say now.

So now of course she's not breathing.

911: ok you need to start cpr and the concierge needs to go get a defibrillator.

So here I am in my boxers doing CPR in the lobby of my building.

A fire truck pulls up after only 2 minutes they have a defibrillator concierge still hasn't come back yet. So they take over and an ambulance follows shortly where they bundle her in to the back and drive off.

Holy shit what just happened.

And of course now the cops turn up...

Did I mention there's cameras in the elevator and just the part of the hallway that shows me dragging an unconscious girl, whom is now not breathing..... Yeahh try explaining that one.

So the cops want to know. Why are you kicking a girl out at 2 am. And why is she not breathing. And what's this on video ....

I told them everything but of course they didn't believe me, so now I'm terrified. What if she's dead. Nothing about this looks good for me. What if she's alive but, clearly she has psychological issues and decides to remember things a different way. Or in her mind I attacked her. Or if the cops turn up and say what did he do? And then that triggers her to say I did something.

Fast forward 3 days and every time the phone rings I'm expecting it to be the cops, I have no idea if this girl is alive or dead. Or if she woke up in hospital and the cops questioning her, what did he do to you? Etc etc. Every day I have this hanging over me. I don't know what to do. I did text to see if she was alive. No reply.

I'm headed to the LCBO for a bottle of wine. And bang. She's right there infront of me!

"Hi ! How's it going so great to see you!" Erm. Hi. I thought you were dead!! "Oh I was. But just for a few minutes haha"

Yeah. I know. I was the one doing CPR!

"Oh. I'm sorry. That explains why my chest hurts I guess. Haha. Oh well. So you wanna hang out? We could go back to your place for some drinks again."

she has No recollection! Wants to come hang out.... No absolutely not. She had no idea about any of it.

Needless to say I said no. Glad you're alive. Good luck. Goodbye. She left me a 2 minute long voice mail a few days later crying and trying to apologize, I don't need that in my dogs life Im afraid.

I have many questions. As do many of my friends as well as people on a comment thread I put this on before. And unfortunately I don't think I will have any of the answers. And I'm not going to contact this person again to try and find answers. I'm aware dragging her down the hall and throwing her in the elevator wasn't the kosher thing to do.

Tldr: had a girl over for a date. She went crazy I had to do cpr and explain to the cops why there's video of me dragging her unconscious body down the hall and dumping it in the elevator.

Edit:. Not responding to any more comments. : Just spent an hour on the phone with said girl in the story.

I will update in a few days with not only her permission but her input.

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“ God dammit Diane, not again.”

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We are so small

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