I got pregnant with my daughter “Emma” at 18. I lived at home and was going to college and working. When i got pregnant my parents kicked me out and i had to move in with my ex.I dropped out of school and quit my job to take care of Emma because my ex told me he would support me. When i was 22 (he was 24) he graduated law school. He told me to i had to move out because he wanted to find a “wife”. My parents had forgiven me so i moved in with them. We didn’t have a court order but we split custody pretty much 25/75 with me having more time.
When Emma was 6 he married his now wife. She couldn’t have anymore kids and wanted Emma and her daughter to be sisters. Over the next 3 years Emma spent less and less time with me, she’d throw a fit if i tried to pick her up. They gave her things i couldn’t. When she was 8 she told me she hated me. I never blamed her for the lies her father put in her head, because even though i lived at home, i was in college and working and did my best to provider for her but obviously they could do more. They took me to court when she was 10 and surprise, the lawyer and his doctor wife with their million dollar home beat me in court, they painted me out to be this horrible parent and Emma backed them up. They got primary custody and i got visitation. But Emma refused to see me. I gave her money and gifts. But she didn’t want me in her life.
When i was 30 i met my husband, he is the most amazing man i have ever met. He’s seen me struggle with this and been very supportive. He has a daughter Emma’s age and a son who is 5 years younger. They lost their mom and were very welcoming and loving. They treated me like their mom. Emma made 0 efforts to get to know my husband and step kids. Emma and step daughter just graduated high school this past may, and my parents also recently passed and gave me their estate since i am an only child. I have decided to pay for my step daughters entire college tuition and buy her a car, pay for an apartment.
Emma contacted me a week ago and told me she missed me and wanted to see me. This shocked me seeing as we haven’t talked in a year. We met up and she told me she heard my parents died and asked if she could have some money to pay for college. I was shocked and said “well what about your dad and his wife?” she said “my mom and dad want me to pay for this on my own to teach me responsibility and i believe i am entitled to money seeing as you ruined my life” I was very hurt and told her “after years of ignoring me, and telling me i am not your mother you demand money from me, i am not your wallet”
My husband is telling me what i did was right but my ex is telling me i’m a piece of shit and i owe this to her. My step daughter feels bad and offered her college money because my daughter and her friends have been harassing her i said absolutely not that is your money. AITA for not giving my daughter money after ignoring me her whole life?
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