Hey so my gf and I are both 25 (I’m a guy). We have been dating for 3 years, she’s a nurse and has been super busy and stressed lately so she hasn’t really had time to do laundry or her chores. I also work an essential job but I have the next few days off to rest and I wanted to surprise her by cleaning are whole place spotless and doing all of her chores for her. She gets anxious and more stressed when our home is messy but exhaustion has outweighed our desire for cleanliness.
So here’s my question, she has a bunch of undies and bras that she washes by hand in the sink, and then air drys, because she hasn’t had time to do it, she’s almost out of clean undies and I thought I’d wash them by hand for her. Just for an extra surprise. But they are intimate items and there are period stains and discharge that needs to be cleaned. It doesn’t really bother me (it’s natural) and I don’t want her to potentially be embarrassed by me cleaning it.
So for women or people in relationships, would it be okay for me to do this for her or should I just clean everything else and leave her undies for her to clean?
Thank you all for your responses, I really appreciate it and upvoted all your posts.
I texted her asking if it was okay and she said “thank you, that would be really nice but you don’t have to do it, I know most guys find it groady, so it’s okay I can do it myself” so I took this as a yes and starting soaking them in cold water with soap as a lot of you suggested (thanks for that, I was gonna do warm/hot water and I definitely was probably gonna ring them out so I owe you guys).
I know she’s had some crappy experiences with previous boyfriends being grossed out and making her feel bad (which is super fucked) so I really just want to do what I can to make her feel loved and supported and all that gushy stuff so that she knows she never has to feel ashamed or embarrassed for being her.
Thank you all again for your advice. You’re all amazing!
Second update: I know it’s soon but holy crap this blew up fast. First I want to say thank you amazing Redditor’s for the awards and all the kind words.
Secondly, it’s truly heartbreaking how many people said they cried or wish they had someone like this, or that more men should be like this. I want to apologize on behalf of men who have let women down in that department (as well as a lot of other departments). It’s so fucked that you have to go through something that you don’t get a choice in and that so many people make you feel gross or lesser for it, I’m sorry you’ve all had to experience that. I know there is a lot of really important discussions happening right now and I wouldn’t want to take away from them but at the same time #teachkidssexed #Bloodyundies&unashamed #Natchyisbeauty #Bedecent #stopshamingstartwashing.
Also, I did wash/soak them in a sink and yes I thoroughly washed the sink before I cleaned the undies, they’re currently hanging to dry and the bras are soaking.
You’re all amazing, thank you so much!!!
Final update: so she came home to a clean place and all her undies clean. She was really happy, first time I’ve seen her smile in a week so that made me happy. It’s taking me a while but I’m trying to give/use all the coins I’ve gotten to give awards to the best comments. And thank all of you for your support. I had moments where I regretted posting because people were messaging me to insult me or just to be really gross. But with all the support, I’m standing by what I said, if someone has a problem with it, then they can deal with it themselves. Thank you all again for all your advice, awards, and support. I wish everyone the best!!!
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