(Edit) Guys im getting a bit overwhelmed so I wont be able to answer all your questions, I wasn't expecting this post to blow up as much as it did, im sorry for being unable to answer all the questions :(
My siste's husband was sick for over 6 months. In the past couple of months he got worse. They have 2 kids (nephew 4 and niece 6) I agreed to take the kids in to look after them and help my sister focus on her husband.
A week ago I got a call at 6:50 from my sister crying telling me her husband just passed away. It was so devastating. I was still in bed when I got the news. I checked on the kids and they were asleep. I had to go see my sister and be with her. I asked my husband to keep an eye on the kids and warned him to not tell them about their father's passing til their mom get there and tell them herself in her own way since she made me promise to wait til she tell them herself. He noded but said telling them the sooner the better. I told him it was none of his business and he needed to respect their mother's wish. He said I could go and he'd watch the kids.
An hour later. My phone rang while I was with my sister and it was my husband telling me to get home asap because the kids had a break down after he told them their father passed. I was dumbfounded and so so mad and helpess. I asked why he told them but I couldn't hear his reply because the kids were crying loudly in the background. Their mother heard and fugured they found out. She told me to drive her to see them. I apologized for what my husband did but she didn't respond.
We got home and it was a mess. My heart sank seeing the kids crying for their dad like that. Their mom took them inside the room and shut the door. I lost it on my husband and he said he didn't want to say anything even made them breakfast but when he heard the kids talk about what they were going to do when they see their dad soon he felt the urge to tell them. I yelled at him for going against my sister's wishes. He apologized to my sister but she said she doesn't want him to see him because the kids stopped talking from their trauma. He wanted to go the funeral but I told him my sister doesn't want to see him and I'm respecting her wish. He got upset saying I excluded him from family event which was unfair and flat out petty. He said he couldn't help it so I shouldn't hold him accountable because it just happened.
But i felt ashamed and a major let down for my sister because she stated her wishes and he didn't respect them.
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