This happened 30 minutes ago and is exactly what I get for going out during COVID.
I would also like to add that I'm still tipsy from the marg, so sorry for any errors...
So today is my birthday and has been incredibly uneventful. I took the day off of work, but despite that it's just been a normal day. No friend group gatherings, no gifts, just another day (and I'm totally fine with that). My mom on the other hand felt bad that there was no celebration of any kind, so she was insistent that we go to my favorite restaurant (a local Mexican restaurant). I agreed to go for a very early dinner.
We get there and are having a good time and it was nice to pretend the world was normal for a moment. I ordered a margarita, they ID'd me and figured out it was my birthday. Fast forward to the end of the dinner and I thought I was in the clear from a birthday celebration from the staff. As they bring the bill, they put a big sombrero on my head and started clapping and singing and set down a dessert in front of me. One of the guys had whipped cream on his finger and went in to put it on my nose, drunk me didn't comprehend that and was very confused. Due to the big sombrero covering my face, he was kind of stumbling trying to find my nose, I thought "oh I know what I'm supposed to do!" and my dumbass self sucked the whipped cream off his finger.
I realized immediately after that, no 'Dundermifflinhoe, that is not how you interact with strangers' but it was too late. They picked up the pace of their singing and the guy ran away right after and hid in the kitchen. The whole restaurant (which granted was like 10 other people, but still) stared at me and my mom couldn't stop laughing.
We got put the dessert in our to-go box and left. 23 years is off to a great start.
TL;DR - My waiter was trying to put whipped cream on my nose to celebrate my birthday, drunk me was confused and sucked his finger instead
EDIT: getting a lot of hate for going out during COVID. I agree with everyone saying that it was a stupid decision to go out to eat. It was. I know I’m the asshole. Thank you for all the lovely reminders in my inbox. I wanted a break from the stresses of life and went about it the wrong way. I take full responsibility.
I don't know what it is with my friends who are always broke making minimum wage living in the worst part of town because that's all they can afford, and they adopt the free dog/cat and then can't feed it or themselves. I get that poverty is hard, and having a special friend makes it easier, but anything that costs money when you are living paycheck to paycheck should be avoided at all costs. Imagine if you have one minor problem and can't pay your rent? Now you have this animal that is going to be put up for adoption, or worse, abandoned. I have seen it too many times that owners get tossed out and abandon their pets. It's heartbreaking. So, if you are two checks from being homeless, please do not get a pet.
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