My mom taught me the most ridiculous self defence trick when I was a teenager and tonight it probably saved me from something terrible.

Before I tell you, please note that I by no means suggest you follow my example nor do I hope that your life ever gives you a lemon sour enough that this "solution" is your best shot. I did not plan for this and I did not go out of my way to end up in this situation.

My mom was a punk rocker in the 80s and had a bit of rough upbringing. Because of that she had many crazy stories and some skewed ideas of what was "appropriate" in any given situation. When I was a teen she would sometimes tell me stories of turf wars and fights and what not. I never got the full picture and I honestly only ever believed half of it. She went from a punk rocker to a suburban housewife and the stories just seemed exaggerated coming from a pie-baking super mom.

In one of those stories she told me of a friend who always carried a single, clean needle in her purse. Her justification was that no threat is scarier than the one of a needle, because you have absolutely no idea what decease that needle may have come in contact with and a single prick is enough to infect you with whatever it might be infected with. She would carry it like other women carry their keys between their fingers on a walk home at night.

Well last Friday I just so happened to buy a few needles. I sometimes pierce ears for my friends and yesterday I went ahead and gave my bestie a beautiful Helix. I had an extra needle packed in my bag and didn't think much of it until I stepped on the train earlier tonight and instantly locked eyes with that one dude on the end of the carrier who just fucking loves to eyeball you. I think we all know the type.

It didn't immediately cross my mind to grab the needle and I did the whole "stare at my phone and hope he goes off before my stop" dance. It became very apparent a few stops in that he wasn't going to let this go and whenever I looked up he would be staring at me with that fucking smirk. That's when I remembered and I grabbed the needle from my bag. Once my stop came I thought I was safe but just as the doors were about to close he jumped off and hurried after me.

I ran down the stairs and out of the station only for him to drop out the same door a few seconds later, yelling something in a language I don't understand (I live in a country where English isn't the first language). So I turned around and poked the needle out and just walked at him as fast as I could. Now I've confronted guys a few times when I've felt threatened but I have NEVER seen a predator lose their cool so fucking fast. He instantly stumbled back with his hands raised. As soon as he backed off I ran in the other direction as fast as I could and didn't stop until I was through my front door.

I'm now sitting at home wondering why the hell this is what it takes for me to stay safe. I'm shaken, depressed and so incredibly angry that this is what I need to do to keep these fuckers in line. I'm also a little amazed by how powerful that threat was. Maybe I got lucky and this fucker has an intense needle phobia. Maybe everyone is super scared of needles when threatened with them. Whatever the case is, I think my moms inappropriate stories just saved my ass from something terrible.

//Edit

  • Sorry for not responding to you guys. I went to bed and just woke up. Thanks for the awards but please donate to your local women's shelter instead. They really need it.

  • English isn't my first language so I apologize for the strange setup of the post/any confusion. I currently live in one European country, while being from another European country, and my English can sound a bit strange.

  • Some of you asked about the needle. It was a regular 14g gauge needle (just found out that's what they're called in English) For those of you who asked about the piercing part please don't go home and stab yourselves randomly! And please always disinfect everything twice before trying to pierce anything or anyone. Watch a Youtube video first or just go to a professional!

  • To you random creeps in my DMs telling me that "not all men" and "you don't know if he was following you" please get back to your neckbeard sub and stay there. No one has the time to educate your grown ass. Read a book. Call your mom. Flush down your fedora.

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Unpopilar Opinion: I thoroughly enjoy the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. Yes, ALL of them. They're basically the supernatural pirate equivalent of The Fast and Furious franchise. Niche fun adventures!

I know its widely agreed that the first 3 are superior. I personally rank them 1, 2, 5, 3, 4.

But anyways, I personally dislike seeing the hate the latter movies get. The movies have turned slightly different, sure, but they're still super enjoyable nautical mythological adventures.

Each movie has introduced a super interesting high-seas adventure, mixed with legendary characters and phenomenal special effects. From Davy Jones to Blackbeard, from the Fountain of Youth to the Kraken.

So much sea lore! And Jack Sparrow, while overplayed a bit comedically, does seem to have a bigger character arc at stake.

Most people bash his character in the most recent film (DMTNT), but I feel like this movie showed him at his absolute worst...his years as an alcoholic catching up with him. He's at the rock bottom...not even a ship or crew. But at the end, things FINALLY look up for him...and he seems back to his good ol self, like he was in the first Pirates. The only problem is thats where the movie leaves off!

But anyways, long story short, I think that ALL of them, not just the classics, are super enjoyable high-seas mythological adventures!

**Edit: It's been brought to my attention that finding the Pirates franchise "good" cannot be considered "unpopular" due to box office success. I guess I was using the phrase "unpopular" because I see FAR more people bashing the new Pirates films than liking them. It certainly seems to me, box office aside, that people dislike the newer films. Hence why I chose the word "unpopular"

Second, my use of the phrase "niche": I assumed, since this is the only supernatural, high-seas, comedic pirate movie that I can think of, that it is "niche." Evidently I am wrong, and misunderstood the word.**

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My son wanted me to share with everyone that we got 100% completion in LEGO Pirates of the Caribbean.

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