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Update: My(29M) wife(29F) is trying to push me into sleeping with her friend(27F). I’m not sure why, and I’m not sure if I should do it.

original

After reading all the comments I had an idea of what I needed to say to her.

I wanted to make sure my feelings came across as clearly as possible, so I spent some time writing what I planned to say. What I said was,

“wife’s name, I love you more than anything in this world. I don’t want anyone except for you, I happily swore to you that I would be yours and yours alone for the rest of our lives. That’s what I want. I don’t want to be with your friend, she is nothing compared to what you mean to me. I need you to tell my why you are doing this, even if it hurts me, I need to know why. No matter what it is, we can work through it, and it won’t make me stop loving you. I just need you to be honest with me.”

I confronted her the night I posted, after we both got off of work. She started weeping. She said she was so sorry for being like this, and that she couldn’t help it. I cried with her and comforted her. After the tears stopped she told me why she was doing this.

Unlike many of you said she WAS NOT cheating on me. In fact she assumed the opposite would happen eventually. She said, “I was doing this because I’d rather you fuck around with her, because she won’t try to steal you from me.” I was blown away that she said something like that. I asked her why she felt that anyone could ever take me from her. She said that since we’ve been together for 10 years and have only ever had sex with each other, she thought that, eventually, I’d get bored of her and want to find someone new to sleep with. I told her that I’d never get bored of her and she will be the only one for ever. She said that she , “knows how men are”. And she was worried that now that we’re getting older, Im going to cheat on her with someone younger.

She then told me how she feels so unattractive, she mentioned that she had been gaining weight, which I didn’t give a fuck about, and how she’s not sure if she’ll be able to pull off the tricks she does in bed for the rest of our lives. I told her that she is amazing in bed and blows my mind every single time, I then told her that even if we didn’t have sex, I wouldn’t run off to be with some younger woman. She again cried into my shoulder and said she can’t believe that I’d still want her after a decade. I assured her again, that she is the only person I want for the rest of my life.

As of right now, I’m encouraging her to get therapy for herself and we’re going to try a little couples counseling. I don’t think this is much of a roadblock in our relationship, but it couldn’t hurt to look into professional help.

Thanks for all the help.

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