TLDR: I don’t want to be fetishized by my boyfriend but don’t want to shame him for being more sexually open with me.

We’ve been together for a little over a year now and it’s been going well! We met at college through a club and hit it off then reconnected a couple years later. He’s always been really kind to me and gives me compliments all the time and we generally have fun together.

We’ve been quarantining together and have been having a lot of sex, which I love, but it’s been getting a little weirder, I guess? He sends me a lot of hentai and says he wants to try things out that are depicted in it which is fine. But he’s also been buying me outfits (which I do appreciate) and they’re very much like anime themed? Japanese schoolgirl, cat-girl costume, etc. etc. I know he’s being more open sexually with me but it all feels kind of... gross? Like he wants me to do all of these things because I’m Asian? Anyway the other night he asked me to “act cuter” in the bedroom and to speak Japanese to him in bed. I was really offended by this because while I’m Asian I’m not Japanese. I’m Taiwanese, but born and raised here in America. I firmly told him no and the night went on alright but he was a little quiet afterwards like I’d scolded him.

I don’t think he means anything weird by it, but I want to tell him I’m not okay with the things he’s been doing but also I don’t want to shame him for being more open sexually with me. I just want to feel like he wants to be intimate with ME and not with Asian Girl #7, if that makes sense. I don’t know how to explain this to him though?