A bit of background my girlfriend and I are 30 and 31 respectively. We have been dating for about a year. I work as a high-level engineer at a good firm and my girlfriend works as a payroll specialist at a good firm too. I make significantly more than her (3x).

Things were good in our relationship until I showed her my retirement/savings. She now doesn't see the point of working and has started framing our relationship in that, she is the beautiful one and that I am the nerdy engineer that was lucky to have her. Before, when we met she was all about making it her own way, eventually starting her own company with her sister in sourcing and recruiting. But now she jokes about driving a Range Rover and wearing Lululemon and going to Yoga.

We were having a discussion again about this 'trophy wife' stuff she brought up that I was nerdy back in the day while she was very popular. I told her she is not a trophy wife, that yes she is attractive but its not a huge difference between us.

I told her had it been the case that I met her when she was 22 and I was my current age than sure, but she isn't 22 anymore. After I said that she just started crying like crazy.

She started saying that I think of her as ugly and used up that her best years are behind are. She just told me that if I am not happy to be with her, why am I even here? to stop wasting her time.

I tried to talk to her but she was in no state for a conversation. I don't know what to say, guys, for me, I just wanted to say that I think we are of similar attractiveness. Like I don't think anyone when they see us turns their head and is like oh she is with him the cause of money? Or damn he is so lucky to be with her. I think it's mutual. She was the one that if anything went after my attractiveness first.

What should I do? I like the fact that we both work and I don't want to change that dynamic. And I don't want her to think too that she is above me that I am so lucky to have her. I want her to think of us as equals and in my attempt to do that I hurt her feelings. What's the next move?

Tl;Dr- ever since my girlfriend found out about my savings she has more often entertained the idea of being a stay at home wife. She has tried to bring up the fact that she was more attractive than me as justification why I am so lucky to be with her and why I should accept this.