I made a statement in the daily thread that if the stock reached $200, I would put a watermelon in my anus. I watched in horror as the stock I liked soared from about $170 to over $215, a price it had not seen in weeks. Is this the ^catalyst?

After careful consideration and measurements, I have come to the conclusion that fulfilling this bet would cause severe trauma for both myself and the watermelon.

I had hoped that my bet would be forgotten about but as we have all learned over these last 7 months, Apes never forget.

I cannot give you all what you ask of me, but I can give you justice.

I will change my flair to whatever suggestion gets the most upvotes, and I also won't contest a ban from the mods.

I wish you all good fortune in the weeks to come, it's been a fun 7 months. Stonks only go up (unlike watermelons)

TL;DR no melon, no cry.

TA;DR 🚫🍉⬆️🍑