Scarlett Johansson and some guy were the only survivors of a shipwreck.

They didn't know each other before the shipwreck, but he did know who she was...

At the beginning it was hard, but as time passed, this guy learnt how to provide food and shelter, he started taking care of her, and eventually she started caring about him... after all, there wasn't anybody else in the island...

He eventually built a cabin, had a functioning automatic potable water supply, and all sorts of little clever commodities, all done to make her life easier... it was the most effort any man had ever done for her, and all the hard work made him fit, she noticed this...

One night after some wildlife attacked and he defended her successfully, getting a few cuts in the process, she threw herself at him and they made love, after that, they where for all intents and purposes a couple with an above regular sex life.

But for some reason he started drifting away, something was bothering him. And she noticed... "What's wrong?" Scarlett Johansson asked, "Nothing..." the guy would say...

She pestered him for a while eventually saying she would do ANYTHING he needed or wanted to make him feel good again, just because she really cared for him a lot, and even if he wasn't asking, she felt it was the least she owed it to him...

"Really?, you'll do anything I'd like?"

"yes" she said "anything!"

"ok, first i want you to take off you toga and get into this pair of work jeans that somehow washed on the shore"


"now put this shirt on please, but first, "tape" your boobs so they are flat"

"wha... ok, I'd say I'd do anything" she said lovingly.

"ok, now, take this hat and wear it, but tuck your hair under it"

She was kinda confused, but non the less, she wanted to make him happy, so she tucked her hair under the hat.

"Now id like for you to grab this piece of soot and paint yourself a beard and a mustache"

"ok... if this is what you want..." she muttered.

"now, please, put on these sunglasses, and start walking down the beach I'll catch up to you in a bit", he said a bit excited...

She started walking... wondering... doubting herself... just confused about what had just happened, maybe it wasn't her, maybe it was h... suddenly the guy grabs her by her shoulder turns her around and says: "DUDE!!! you won't believe who I've been fucking for the past 6 months!"

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damn it bill gates

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Jake Paul: Cringe McGregor Wannabe

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A Gallery Owner was arrested after leaving a 10-Foot Heroin Spoon Sculpture outside OxyContin maker purdue pharma

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brain works in a strange way

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Harry Potter is OVERRATED

Seriously. How has this one book series managed to keep going for so many years? It’s good, whatever, but so are tons of other children’s series, and they haven’t become such a cult. It’s not THAT good.

UPDATE: Wow. Um, I’ve never really had a popular Reddit post before, so thanks to all of you who upvoted because you hate me. It means a lot. I’ve noticed a pretty big trend in the comments. About half agree with me that while yes, it is a good series of both books and movies, it isn’t so amazing that it makes sense for it to have lasted so long. The other half is vehemently against me.

I want to point some things out:

  • If you read through the comments you’ll learn that I’ve seen all the movies, but I’ve only read books one and two. This is what my entire opinion was based on. As a preteen I read all the time. I grew up in a tiny town where in the summer all I could do was read or play outside. I got so bored that I would read the farmer’s almanac... I went into Harry Potter thinking I would love it because, well, everyone does. I read the first two and was kinda disappointed. It WAS good, it just wasn’t get-a-lighting-bolt-tattoo kinda good. That’s my whole opinion. Harry Potter is a good series. In my opinion, it’s just not good enough to have lasted so long in popular media. To me it’s not good enough to want to talk about it all the time, make an Instagram account about it, get a bumper sticker about it, stuff like that. I respect people who do, I just don’t get it at all because to me they were fine, but not exceptional. I think they’re overrated, not bad, that’s the whole post.

  • I’ve read in the comments that the books don’t really get good until later in the series, so I will take my 20 year old butt to the library and try them again. For realsies.

  • I did not post this to karma farm. I have felt this way about Harry Potter for a long time, but after falling into a HP fandom rabbit hole last night, I felt the want to post this. I will also say that I’ve never seen this post before. So if I “reposted” I didn’t mean to. If you’re confused on why this post blew up, so am I so join the club.

  • I’m not saying this just because “it’s cool so I won’t like it!1!1” because I do like things that are cool. I love the Marvel movies, but if someone told me they were overrated I’d be like yeah you’re right lol.

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I don't know who's happier.

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Time for a little snack.

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Mail delivery

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