While under normal circumstances I would try to communicate my feelings to my wife, I am at my wits' end for how to handle this situation, as I have exhausted all of the typical conflict resolution means.
Being a teacher, I am currently giving lessons over Zoom. I recognize that studying math over Zoom isn't the most exciting thing in the world for students, and I can barely get them to even pretend to be interested in my lessons when we're in the classroom, but they have done an admirable job of staying focused. My wife is making it extremely difficult on my end, though.
Several months ago when my lessons began, I went from working long hours to being at home all day. Unfortunately my wife does not seem to understand that while I am at home, and while I can occasionally help out with a chore or two, I still have actual work to do. Between lesson prep, grading, and meetings, my schedule is quite full.
The first time she interrupted my lesson, she abruptly opened the door to the room where I was teaching and loudly asked me to do the dishes. This was unbelievably awkward as I was in the middle of teaching three dozen tenth graders geometry. I told her we would talk about it later, but not being deterred, she asked if that was a "yes" or a "no." I said it was a "yes," but that I was in the middle of a lesson. Without a word she closed the door. I got some chuckles from the students but a bit of red-cheeked embarrassment was the extent of the damage.
The next time, two days later, she again barged in holding a pair of my pants that I left on the floor of our bedroom. She loudly stated "you need to pick up after yourself." This time, before responding, I muted my mic and turned off my camera telling her that I was in the middle of a lesson. Again, she walked away without a word.
At this point I moved my setup into the basement of our house so I could avoid further interruption. Since my basement looks like it probably has a few dead bodies buried in it, my students have begun to call me "Basement Dad," which is endearing, but I would rather teach in a room where I'm not going to get asbestos in my lungs. The trouble really began when I started locking the door to prevent interruptions.
My wife will begin by rattling the door a few times, followed by pounding on it. Then she'll groan loudly and say something negative about me. After that I can hear her walking around the house slamming doors.
A few weeks ago, she was literally jumping up and down, stomping her feet, in the room above mine. In the first months of these online lessons I set up a hotkey to mute my mic and disable my camera instantly when needed, and luckily my reflexes honed from Counter-Strike in my teens has paid off. But there have been times where she has sneaked in an embarrassing moment for me.
Every time I have patiently explained to her that I need complete quiet to teach my lessons, and she says "yeah yeah yeah OK." Then in the next lesson, without fail, she'll find something new to complain about and throw a tantrum, trying to humiliate me in front of my students. While my mute game is on point, students have recognized something is wrong. One of my 9th graders even sent me an email asking if everything was OK. I had to make up a lame excuse about needing to mute my mic because of a sudden grinding noise that happens in my old basement. There's no way she bought that.
Since I'm unable to go out, unable to even enter the school grounds, and have no place to go to avoid my wife, I'm unbelievably anxious when I teach. I have tried talking to her calmly, and I even tried to get angry at her. When I yelled at her for forcefully sliding plastic files under the door so they'd float down in the background during my lessons, she expected me to apologize for getting angry at her.
How can I even approach this kind of problem?
TL;DR: my wife is acting ridiculous when I'm teaching lessons over Zoom. Most of the rest of the day she's normal, but during lessons she does everything in her power to sabotage me.
...also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces...
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