Years ago, I was a police officer and so was my partner. We worked in seperate cities but at the time, we lived in the city where he worked. I would come with him to his office events and met everyone's families, you know how office BBQ's are like. I was never friends with any of them, but I was always polite and friendly during encounters.

There is a "police wife" culture similar to "military wife" within the professions, but I never really experienced that personally as I kept my friend circle outside of my workplace. We had a baby and all the "My daddy is my hero" onsies, burp rags and baby thin blue line shit, for an INFANT came piling in. I said thank you for the gifts and threw them in the back of the closet never to be seen again. I didn't hate my job or my partner's job but my life did not and does not revolve around our profession. I am a whole person outside of it.

One day, my partner comes home with a package for me, barely able to contain his laughter. His eyes sparkling with childish smirk, he hands it to me. I ask him what it is and he said it was from X's wife that she made for all of the wives at his department. I am side eyeing him as I can see he is about to burst, his lips tightening to contain giggles, I open it.

X's wife made me a shirt that said, [Partner Badge #]'s Wife, with blue and silver glittery designs all over it. My face must have looked utterly digusted, eyes flashing in anger as my partner guffawed at my reaction. He knew when X handed him the shirt that I would not react well and said he keeled over in the office laughing at the thought of my reaction. My partner knows that I am proud of my own accomplishments and would never claim his as my own. He knew without a doubt I was not going to be happy about it. He is a good partner and is also proud of me for my own achievements and has never reduced my role as just his wife.

May I remind you that I was also a police officer at the time? Did my partner get any "[My Badge #]'s Husband? Did our baby get any "My mommy is my hero" shit? Absolutely not. For some reason, it was always about him and his accomplishments, not me.

I have since left law enforcement for various reasons and moved on to other things, but I still don't identify myself as a "Police Wife." I am so many things in my own right, I don't need nor want that title for myself. I may be [Partner]'s wife, but that is only one part of the multifaceted person that I am.