Not today, this was several years ago now but I still cringe about it every now and then.

When I was a freshman at university I had a huuuge crush on one of my lecturers. Who was honestly just a regular looking middle aged man. I was so obsessed with him that I often stalked him online including on LinkedIn, where I made a profile just so that I could stalk him. I’m talking really often. It was creepy.

Years later when I joined the workforce and actually started using LinkedIn seriously I realised that people actually get notified every time someone views your profile.

He used to give me odd looks when I would pass him around campus and I used to be paranoid thinking oh god he knows that I fantasise about him bending me over his desk in his office. But then I’d think nah nah nah how could he possibly know that?

He must’ve been thinking hey there’s that weird girl who used to look at my LinkedIn profile daily.

He even saw me at my graduation and made a very deliberate glance at me. He. Knows

TLDR: stalked my professor on LinkedIn without knowing he’d be notified that I viewed his profile

For ages I’ve heard nonstop jokes in media, on the internet, and from others that make it seem like having a small penis is somehow a death sentence or makes for some unbearable existence. I disagree. I have what I’d take to be a rather small member, probably no more than 4 inches when erect, and when flaccid, I get that epic Greek statue look. The thing is, I’ve never once worried about my dick size the way society tells me I should. Some of the strongest primates in the animal kingdom have small dicks, and they’re doing just fine. Also, being insecure about something that pretty much no one will see on a daily basis just seems silly to me.