My wifey and I share a Google log in for ease as I work shifts and we have to coordinate Christmas gifts for the kids and our busy lives.

Today I had a day off to get on with some house stuff whilst wifey is at work and the kids are at school. I zoomed through the chores so I could spend a couple of quality hours on my hobby.

My hobby is model painting and for my recent 40th my amazing wifey got me an air brush and a compressor to run it. I tootled around with it for a while before realising that the air brush and compressor were different makes so I needed an adaptor to make them work together. I found one online and duly purchased it.

Just a short while later I received an angry call from my wifey wanting to know why I was looking at niche porn  when tonight is date night. She was quite upset and asked why when she went on Google during her lunch, the most recent searches were for "1/2 inch female nipples", "nipple enhancers" and "hose extensions".

"You see honey, the screw on part that sticks out the compressor is called a nipple and it's only 1/4" when I have a 1/2" airhose to attach to it so I need a half inch female nipple adapter to connect the two... Yes that is a silly name... no, your nipples are perfect...yes I'm sure, I love you too."

UPDATES: just to answer the regular questions.

I was painting models from the fellowship of the ring and finishing their bases off.

No, my wifey has no issue with me looking at porn. She just was concerned I was looking at something to do with nipple resizing and that I only liked a specific type of nipple. She got self conscious and worried so phoned me in an angry and upset panic.

Yes my wifey is self conscious about herself. Show me a part of a lady we guys don't sexualise and you'll finally have found the part of a woman's body that they don't have hang ups about.

No she wasn't snooping through my search history, Google just brings up our last 5 or so things we searched.

Yes I know there are other ways to share calendars and the like. I'm 40 so not interested in learning new apps or functions, this works for me and that is fine.

For those who felt calling my wife by her nickname was cringy, that's something I really hadn't considered before. Now that you've made me see it in that light I can realise I should have wifey wifey wifey wifey wifey wifey wifey wifey wifey.

Date night is my idea. Since I work shifts I make sure and put aside time just for the two of us, it's one day every 3 weeks.

Date night was great, thanks for the well wishes. We played a couch coop game on the console for 8 hours, chuckled together at the comments and got a ruler out as one of the comments suggested. Twas a fun and precisely measured evening for all.

TL;DR the correct technical term for the metal coupling adaptor I needed for a compresser was a 1/2 inch female nipple, leading to Google search confusion.