It's been about a year since I posted on AITA. A lot of people gave advice on therapy and that the shock would wear off and I would need it. Y'all were right and I'm so thankful I listened about therapy.
I ended up getting that tummy tuck and muscle repair.
For the recovery my dad and my MIL were at my side almost 24/7 for 5 entire weeks. I slept on a recliner the entire time so we barely spent time together. He really didn't do much for me or have any sympathy for the pain I was in.
Weeks after recovery, I felt like a new person in NO pain. I kept thinking how my husband tried to take that away from me due to his own insecurities. I went to therapy at night and realized I needed to not rely on him for a while. I heavily considered divorce. I wanted to talk about my feelings and how I felt so betrayed.
30 seconds into the conversation he told me "what's done is done if you don't like it let's divorce because I can't go through this again"
I said.... alright.
I felt completely calm. I felt nothing. I was done. I hired a divorce lawyer within a week and we are officially separated. We kept things very very civil. We signed an agreement to 50/50 everything. No child support, no spousal support, nothing. We sold the house and split the earnings. He purchased a smaller but very nice house a few streets over. We work hard to keep our kids happy and I have talked strategies with my therapist.
On our last day sorting the house he wished me luck with job hunting and said he was surprised I didn't want more than 50 percent. He said I wouldn't have a hard time finding another man to take care of me??? I barely recognized him and it was scary.
The thing is, I reached out to my good friend and got a job back in my old field (forensic accounting). It has some new twists and responsibilities that I actually ended up loving and am VERY good at. I actually can't be too specific due to my security clearance. This job is ridiculously grueling and not a lot of people want to do it or have the insight/stamina to do it. The point is, my salary is about 3 times my husband's. And I, in fact, told him so on the spot. I also told him I planned on buying the biggest/nicest house for sale in our neighborhood soon and was thrilled.
I also informed him that no, I wouldn't have a hard time finding a better man. I guess he forgot who he married✌🏻
Edit: thanks so much for the kind words and support, it means I much. I can't even describe it. I'm seriously sitting on my new expensive couch crying into my cashmere blanket 😭❤️
I just want to remind everyone that you should always discuss pay with coworkers. Do not let your managers or supervisors tell you it is tacky or against the rules.
Discussing pay with co-workers is a federally protected action. You cannot face consequences for discussing pay with coworkers- it can't even be threatened. Discussing pay with coworkers is the only thing that prevents discrimination in pay. Managers will often discourage it- They may even say it is against the rules but it never is.
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