Hey so my gf and I are both 25 (I’m a guy). We have been dating for 3 years, she’s a nurse and has been super busy and stressed lately so she hasn’t really had time to do laundry or her chores. I also work an essential job but I have the next few days off to rest and I wanted to surprise her by cleaning are whole place spotless and doing all of her chores for her. She gets anxious and more stressed when our home is messy but exhaustion has outweighed our desire for cleanliness.
So here’s my question, she has a bunch of undies and bras that she washes by hand in the sink, and then air drys, because she hasn’t had time to do it, she’s almost out of clean undies and I thought I’d wash them by hand for her. Just for an extra surprise. But they are intimate items and there are period stains and discharge that needs to be cleaned. It doesn’t really bother me (it’s natural) and I don’t want her to potentially be embarrassed by me cleaning it.
So for women or people in relationships, would it be okay for me to do this for her or should I just clean everything else and leave her undies for her to clean?
Thank you all for your responses, I really appreciate it and upvoted all your posts.
I texted her asking if it was okay and she said “thank you, that would be really nice but you don’t have to do it, I know most guys find it groady, so it’s okay I can do it myself” so I took this as a yes and starting soaking them in cold water with soap as a lot of you suggested (thanks for that, I was gonna do warm/hot water and I definitely was probably gonna ring them out so I owe you guys).
I know she’s had some crappy experiences with previous boyfriends being grossed out and making her feel bad (which is super fucked) so I really just want to do what I can to make her feel loved and supported and all that gushy stuff so that she knows she never has to feel ashamed or embarrassed for being her.
Thank you all again for your advice. You’re all amazing!
Second update: I know it’s soon but holy crap this blew up fast. First I want to say thank you amazing Redditor’s for the awards and all the kind words.
Secondly, it’s truly heartbreaking how many people said they cried or wish they had someone like this, or that more men should be like this. I want to apologize on behalf of men who have let women down in that department (as well as a lot of other departments). It’s so fucked that you have to go through something that you don’t get a choice in and that so many people make you feel gross or lesser for it, I’m sorry you’ve all had to experience that. I know there is a lot of really important discussions happening right now and I wouldn’t want to take away from them but at the same time #teachkidssexed #Bloodyundies&unashamed #Natchyisbeauty #Bedecent #stopshamingstartwashing.
Also, I did wash/soak them in a sink and yes I thoroughly washed the sink before I cleaned the undies, they’re currently hanging to dry and the bras are soaking.
You’re all amazing, thank you so much!!!
Final update: so she came home to a clean place and all her undies clean. She was really happy, first time I’ve seen her smile in a week so that made me happy. It’s taking me a while but I’m trying to give/use all the coins I’ve gotten to give awards to the best comments. And thank all of you for your support. I had moments where I regretted posting because people were messaging me to insult me or just to be really gross. But with all the support, I’m standing by what I said, if someone has a problem with it, then they can deal with it themselves. Thank you all again for all your advice, awards, and support. I wish everyone the best!!!
TL;DR: planned on meeting with a girl I met on Tinder, we both wanted to hookup, booked and paid for an air bnb in the middle of nowhere, she never showed up and blocked me on everything. Now i’m drunk, alone, and down $300
Sorry if this is sloppy, i’m on mobile and drunk. You may guess where i’m writing this from. I’m in the middle of nowhere in an Air Bnb, scrolling thru reddit, feeling really really fucking stupid.
This happened in Northern Florida. Alright backstory. I matched with this girl on Tinder. We really hit it off for a few days and everything was going well. I told her I was only looking to hookup and she said she wanted the same. We planned around the whole week on when we can meet up because we both work constantly. We both were off today so we planned to meet up. My house was a no go and she had family at hers (apparently). Hotels are a no go for me so I decided to get an air bnb for the day so we both would be comfortable. I am an idiot for not getting her phone number, only had her tinder and snapchat.
This is where the story gets interesting. So, the whole day we were messaging dirty things like typical college kids. She would even snap me over and over again if I didn’t reply. She kept asking if today’s plan was on and I said of course. The air bnb I booked was about 30 minutes from me and 15 from her. I messaged her saying I was leaving and asked if I should pick her up. She said she would drive which I found weird but didn’t think twice about it because Tinder meetups can be sketch, which I understand. I message her on the way and she says she is on the way and almost there. I finally got there after heavy traffic and awful weather. I message her on tinder that I just got here. She unmatched me right away. I was like okayy maybe it glitched or she deleted her account. I go on snapchat to message her and she fucking blocked me. This bitch was playing games with me the whole fucking week. I already paid for the bnb and messaged the owner of the house for a possible refund and still haven’t gotten a response back.
I tried searching this girls name on other social media but somehow she found all my accounts and blocked me. I felt so fucking stupid and I still do. It hasn’t left my mind. Now i’m in the middle of east bumble fuck, one hand with my phone, other with a bottle of jack daniels and i’m super empty. I’ve never been played like this before and shit fucking hurts.
I wish I can message her one last thing but literally have no contact with her whatsoever.
I will never do something so idiotic again. Anyone wanna be my friend because I feel so alone and stupid. I don’t plan on telling anyone about this and honestly as long as I get my refund I will be happy and move on.
edit 2: you guys are awesome! Lots of love for all of you!
edit 3: I’m trying to respond to all of you, did not except this to blowup
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