Your 20 year plan.

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[IMAGE] Your zoomies are coming

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Illegal picture taken inside the US Supreme Court in 1932. Dr. Erich Salomon faked a broken arm so he could hide a camera in his cast.

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🔥 This caterpillar 3D-printing itself a nest 🔥

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Channel 4 news

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Well ok then

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It’s worse when it’s too awkward to say anything

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What it actually sounds like when you're playing games

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Nikola Jokic when asked about Patrick Beverly's 'flailing' comments geared towards him: "What is a flailing mean?". After understanding it, Jokic pointed to the box score: "They had 26 free throws. We had 10. I am just showing the ref it is a foul."

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TIFU by disappointing a Prostitue and also myself.

Buckle up mofus as this story may be the most pathetic story you are going to read today.

Skip the first Paragraph if you wanna avoid my sob story lol.

Some backstory. I'm a 20 y/o (guess not anymore) virgin from a country where prostitution is legal and the other day I decided to off myself. It didn't really have a reason, I just felt like it. I started googling the best ways to end yourself and weirdly enough, google provided sufficient information on the first page on a Wikipedia article. While I stood there with a bottle of Bleach, I just couldn't help but feel like it would probably not taste well enough and scrapped that Idea, and thought to myself:" Why die like that, I have not tried everything to be happy yet. Do it like this one american that decided to not end himself and live a life of strippers and blackjack." So here we go. After much consideration I've dug up a number of a prostitue nearby and gave her a call. 70€ for 30 minutes, while that made me physically repell, I thought to myself: "Dude, you are literally about to off yourself and this is where you draw the line?".

A day later I went to her, while she didn't look like on the photo she was still not bad looking. A 29 year old Brazilian Milf with some big ol' BADONKAHONKAHONKAS, like some genourmous Bahoonkadoonkahonkas

I decided to tell her to start it with a blowjob. followed up by some 69. I dont wanna write some weird ass fanfiction here but it's sorta relevant to the story. Here comes the cut tough... as it turned out, due to my medication it may be possible that one of the Sideeffects was Erectile Dysfunction. (very epic) .While she was trying her best to jerk my wingawongwong to the point that my unborn children leak to the blanket she found herself to be trying longer than usual. Let's put it like that. My dick was Nestle and she was an unfortunate African Resident. After some more Stroking and Fake Moaning she started to question me what the hell I was doing and told me to concentrate. Guess she was getting bored and started to ask me if I lived alone. I answered her that I've already moved out and answered to a follow up question that my parents were split up and I've been taking Medication for my mental Illness which may have had the side effect that it was a real challenge to cum for me.

She was visibly feeling bad for me and has been reminding me multiple times that my booked time was almost up. I was still laying there with a smile to my face. I expected this to happen and just had to laugh at this divine cruelty. It also wasn't the first time something like this happened. Thinking back 2 years when I've been receiving a blowjob by a transwoman that also happened. I thought to myself that she just wasnt very good at it. The worst part of the whole thing was when I was getting her from behind and couldn't find the hole at first. But common guys, real talk here, It's hard to hit on the first try. Overall, not the worst sexual experience i've had. Just... don't look trough my Posthistory.

But there was also something valuable to be learned. I've tried to change something, I may have failed, like.. pathetically failed. But I still tried. And I will keep trying to change something. Maybe not a prostitue again but I will keep trying. It was a sad attempt but it isn't anywhere near as sad as completely giving up. It took me a lot of currage to do this thing, and I will take this courage to the next challenging life situation. Also I can now tell others about my mistake, so they don't have to make the same mistake. Don't think you aren't good enough because you didn't have some trivial thing as sex. Also, don't give up. Keep trying, make mistakes and learn from them.

TL;DR Hired a prostitute, turned out I had erectyle disfunction and we both faked pleasure. Couldn't come and disappointed the prostitute and made her feel bad for my Lifesituation but still learned a valuable life lesson I may not have learned if I didn't try to change something.

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