Hello again everybody. It has now almost been two weeks since my boyfriend admitted he committed one of the most despicable acts possible against another human being. TW: rape, sexual assault, and sexual violence. If these topics hurt you in any way, please stop reading now.
The whole situation still feels surreal. I have gone from being angry at him to being angry at myself. I have written long texts to him and then deleted them completely. I have gone through stages of denial where I thought that Jason, being such a good guy, may not have actually done anything wrong? Maybe a woman gaslighted him into feeling that he had committed a crime when she consented at the time?
Then I realized that everyone who commented on my last post hit the nail squarely on the head. He didn't go to the police to turn himself in for what he did. If he truly felt remorse, that is what he would have done. His charm and natural "understanding" of women's problems were complete ruses; many people with sociopathic tendencies are great with people. Most of all, he gets to cry and move on with his life. He gets to love another woman again. His victim? I can't even fathom what she's going through.
I finally called him two nights ago. He wanted to talk about how we could mend our relationship, but after two weeks of not hearing his voice and being scared of how I may run back to him, it hit me like a truck: I don't love him anymore. I told him that I wanted him to vacate his apartment for three hours while I gathered my belongings. He said he would do so. I ended the call by telling him that if he felt any remorse, he would go to the police and accept all charges for what he did, not contest them in court, and take his punishment. He started talking about how that wouldn't bring justice to his victim. Then he said that he loved me. Twisted fuck.
I showed up the next morning at the decided time with my sister, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm confident he won't contact me again.
Thank you all so much for helping me through this. I'm going to find a therapist as soon as possible.
TL;DR: my rapist boyfriend won't turn himself in, and I broke up with him. I safely gathered my belongings and now I'm living with my sister.
Edit: I apologize for editing the post, but after receiving a couple of private messages asking me to drop his personal information, I must make one thing clear: I will not, under any circumstances, post any identifying information about him. It is not only against sitewide rules, but if I were reckless enough to do that, he could sue me. Again, I repeat: nobody is getting his information. He is a monster. He probably deserves worse. But it will not be coming from me.
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