FeelsBadMan

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Blursed Harry Potter

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I’m convinced some dogs just KNOW they’re cute and take full advantage of it lol

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The music just sounds good

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The system deserves to be broken

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[Portland] 7/11/2020 Protester shot by impact munition last night. [graphic]

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Suspicious meow

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Wait, you drive a nicer car than me?

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ELI5: How do alcohol companies, mainly whiskey producers, keep up with demand?

For example, Jack Daniels takes about 8 years to age. How would a company be able to create a new product for a current trend or be able to produce the correct quantity of the alcohol?

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TIFU by offering a father a kids menu

So quick backstory here, ever since Covid neutered my primary job, I picked up a part-time job as a waiter at a local family joint until things get back to normal (yes I'm that optimistic).

Anyways, so thanks to a no-show, I ended up taking over for the hostess. The duties are simple for reserving tables, write down the name, number of adults and children, and the estimated wait time. We get about two hours into my shift, and we're rapidly growing our list. I'm doing my usual, making small talk, big smiles, 'how's your day, jeez look at that weather, we'll be ready for you in ten minutes' yadda yadda. Then this humble looking father strolls on up, he's polite, and asks for a table for two. I jot down his name with a smile and reply with the sentence that will stay with me until the last molecule of my maggot-ridden corpse finally rots away: 'And one kids menu, yeah?'

Suddenly his brow furrows, and he looks like he's ready to tear me apart. Now I'm 6'2 190lbs, never feel threatened by anyone, but the look on this previously soft humble man's face put the fear of god into me. As I stood there confused, contemplating what I was rapidly assuming could be my last moments on Earth, he leans in close and utters a simple sovereign: 'No.'

As my brain rattles around in my skull trying to piece together what he is aggressively objecting to, my peripherals finally decide to do their job and draw my brain's attention to his child.

She's not a child at all, she's his wife, and she's a dwarf.

She's refusing to even make eye contact with me, she's just fighting back tears and looking sheepishly away.

I can't even.. I'm literally just frozen. It's like my entire body was trapped in a factory reset for what seemed like ten solid seconds.

Once I realize how long I've just been staring at them like a frog, I manage to regain control of my body, and open my mouth to try and formulate some sort of panicked spastic defense, but the pair swiftly turn away and disappear into the crowd like Hannibal Lector at the end of Silence of The Lambs. I'm just standing there staring at the spot they once were, suddenly finding the air horrifically thin, as I wait for my eyebrows to return from the back of my head.

So yeah, I definitely ruined this poor woman's night, if not her week, I have no way to rectify my actions, and I am at an utter loss for words.

tl;dr- I mistook a dwarf for a child and offered her a kids menu.

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