I’d like to introduce you to my religion

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This is getting out of hand!

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TIFU by telling my date's father my "intentions with his daughter"

Disclaimer: this wasn't actually today, but I just remembered it

I was on my first date with a lovely girl name Michelle. I took her to what people my age consider a pretty nice restaurant for a date. She didn't know where we were going ahead of time. A few minutes after we ordered, her face turned bright red and she told me to hide. I was confused and about to ask why when an older couple approached our table and introduced themselves as Michelle's parents.

After some brief, uncomfortable small-talk, her father, who had already casually mentioned twice that he was a police officer, each time placing his hand where his gun holster would be, asked me a question I didn't know people still asked.

"What are your intentions with my daughter?"

For the record, my intentions were simply to get to know her and maybe start a relationship with her. Unfortunately, the question caught me off-guard and I tend to (read: unfailingly) use humor as a defense mechanism. So I replied:

"I don't know, officer. I have Intention Deficit Disorder."

Michelle and her mother both burst into laughter, but her father was not amused. He dragged my date away, never to be heard from (by me) again.

Tl;dr: date's parents happen to be at the restaurant. Father asks "what are your intentions with my daughter?" I tell him I don't know due to my "Intention Deficit Disorder". He didn't like it and dragged my date away.

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When coming in contact with a bear.

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