i typed this all out and Reddit ate it so I'm going to give the short version this time. My wife and I started dating in 2015 and dated for 3 years. in early 2018, I started feeling like we were drifting apart and that the relationship was reaching its natural conclusion and I ended the relationship. less than a month later, she told me she found out she was pregnant. at the time it was presented like it was an accidental pregnancy and that was the story I believed.
Our son was born in September of 2018 and we got married in May of last year. We have a pretty happy marriage overall. I will say right now that I am the more hands on parent and more involved, but I've never had any reason to doubt that my wife loves our son. I just always wanted to be a dad and have kids and she never saw it in her life plan (another part of the reason why I felt like things weren't going to work, because I really prioritized having a family). The dynamic does work for us and like I said I never had any reason to suspect that she didn't love our son or enjoy being a mom.
Basically, this came to pass because I was talking about having a second child. I'm one of 8 (3 full siblings, 4 much younger half siblings) and I always wanted to have at least 2/3 kids, which my wife knows. so I brought up having more kids because we're getting older, and our son is old enough now that it seems like a possibility.
after dismissing me for several days, tonight my wife admitted that she actually planned her pregnancy with our son but that she didn't really want the baby at all, she just wanted to keep me around/knew that if she was pregnant I wouldn't break up with her/knew that I would get back together with her, but she planned it just so I would stay with her and she doesn't actually enjoy having him, she just wanted to be with me.
this hurt and upset me a lot, and I honestly don't know how to feel. on one hand I feel like, well, everyone got what they wanted so it's fine, right? but at the same time, I feel like I've been lied to for years AND the fact that my wife admitted to not enjoying our son is weighing on my heart.
is it unreasonable for me to feel this way? what would you do if you were in my shoes? i wish I could go back to before I knew this and just continue living my life the way it was... but I don't know if I can now.
EDIT: I'm trying to go through and reply to comments, answer questions and so on now. when I posted last night I really wasn't sure what the response would be.
I feel like I need to be absolutely, 100% clear on one thing in terms of the content of some of these comments: I don't believe this is a characteristic of "women" and I don't believe that all women are naturally manipulative or evil or that men hold some inherent value over and above women. I think people, period, can be manipulative and can do things to hurt others in their relationships and my wife happened to do that.
Team Liquid advance to the Group Stage! Legacy Esports will have to face the winner of the Group B third/fourth playoff in order to advance
|Bans 1||Bans 2||G||K||T||D/B|
|TL||nidalee lillia sett||senna ezreal||42.4k||19||7||C1 O3 I4 H5|
|LGC||orianna twitch azir||bard kalista||29.2k||3||0||H2|
|Impact shen 2||1-2-7||TOP||1-2-1||1 ornn Topoon|
|Broxah graves 1||8-0-9||JNG||2-4-1||1 kindred Babip|
|Jensen syndra 2||5-0-7||MID||0-5-1||2 galio Tally|
|Tactical caitlyn 3||5-1-8||BOT||0-5-2||3 jhin Raes|
|CoreJJ braum 3||0-0-12||SUP||0-3-2||4 rakan Isles|
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