This whole situation is a pretty gray area for me and only now as an adult (26 female) am I starting to see my high school experience for what it really was, through the eyes of someone who is grown.

When I started out as a freshman in my very very small high school (around 60 people altogether), at 14, one of my teachers started paying extra attention to me. He was 34 at the time, and a lot of girls would giggle around about how hot he was and everyone loved him.

Pretty early on I had started eating lunch with him in his classroom, just us, because I needed some extra help. We became close and I developed a huge crush on him. One day I mentioned I didn’t have a ride home from cheerleading practice and he offered to come back and pick me up. When he picked me up, he offered to take me to get food and that led to him kissing me for the first time.

It escalated from there (completely with my “consent” - not that you can consent to an adult at 14, but I did want it) and he took my virginity at 15. We had a full blown relationship, he would wait in his truck after school and I would sneak and leave with him, he would take me to the city and we would go out to fancy dinners, I was over at his house almost every day after school and every weekend, he came to every single game to watch me cheer for 3 years straight, when he’d piss me off and we’d get into a fight I’d flirt with boys in class while he was teaching and get him angry, etc. and we completely got away with the whole thing.

When I was a junior, my dad saw a look he gave me at a parent-teacher meeting and came to me that night and asked me if he was “being creepy” towards me, and “you’d tell me, right? If he said anything inappropriate towards you?” And at that point, I felt like I must be doing something extremely wrong and I didn’t want to disappoint my dad. So I “broke up” with him and told him I wasn’t seeing or talking to him anymore, and I didn’t even though he begged me for the rest of high school, until I left for college.

I recently moved back to my home town and ran into him and his fiancé (his age). He introduced me as one of his “best students” and I felt weird the whole time. I’m strongly considering whether or not I should tell his fiancé he pursued a 14 year old student. I know for a fact he didn’t do that to anyone else while we were involved, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t tried to do it since. I asked my cousin who is in high school if she thought he was creepy, and she was completely shocked I’d even think that, and was like “Mr. ___? No! He’s the best teacher we have”.

I’m confused morally not just about what I did as a teenager, but whether or not someone who is marrying him needs to know about it.