I M42 married my current wife when my daughter (16) was 4 and my stepdaughter (14) was 2. They grew up as if they were blood siblings with occasional disagreements and jelousy issues mostly from my stepdaughter.
2 days ago was my daughter's dog's 3rd deaths anniversary. Usually, at that time she'd rather be alone to write poems or look at pictures of her beloved dog. This year she asked me to go with her to visit his grave which's located in her grandparents farm. My wife appreciates my daughter's need to have time alone but my stepdaughter wanted to come with us though she wasn't close to the dog. My daughter refusef to let her come and only wanted me to go, my stepdaughter threw a fit and insisted on coming. I sat her down to explain her sister's need for space that day. She stopped after that.
We left and 15 minutes later my wife texted me that my stepdaughter had a break-down and didn't stop crying then flushed all her sister's spices that were in seperate containers down the toilet. They were a gift from my daughter's asian friend's mom since my daughter's into asian food and cooks meals everyweek. I was stunned I called my wife but got no response. My daughter asked what's wrong but I just dropped her off at her grandparents farm then went back home.
My stepdaughter refused to come out of her room yelling that my daughter deserved it for excluding her like that. I was pissed I told her I'd punish her for wasting spices that were important to her sister that she shouldn't even touched by taking from her saving to pay for the damages but my wife thought I'd only take away privilages not money my stepdaughter saved. She said she's still a kid and she won't let me touch her saving but will pay herself. But if my wife paid then my stepdaughter will think her behavior is ok. She Also said my daughter is to blame too for not letting her stepsister come with her. She acted as if she never goes to the far though I take them there twice a month. I argued that this was, in my opinion the right punishment to get this resolved but my wife said I was only making my stepdaughter resent me because she wants the money for a new bicycle. We kept disagreeing on this and all I was thinking of was my daughter's reaction when I told her. She was devastated but I assured her I was taking steps to help her replace all the spices she lost. My wife called me cruel.
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