(I originally posted this under a throwaway account, but that account didn’t start with ThrowRA as per subreddit rules)
I finally built up the courage to confess to my best friend that I had feelings for him for the past two years. He was really nice about it and let me down gently but in no uncertain terms. It was a hard pill to swallow, but I accepted this and I told him I’d need some time to just get back to the right head space. I took a week to separate myself from him and let myself recover and rebuild my self esteem, but I made sure to tell him there’s no hard feelings, I just need the space.
Fast forward to today, I ran into him and decided to talk to him and apologize for putting him in an uncomfortable position but that I accept his feelings and I’m ready to keep continue our relationship as friends. Except... he tells me that he took that week to think too, and he thinks he’s actually loved me for a long time but that he was too dense to recognize his own feelings until now.
I feel like I should be elated, but for some reason my heart just really hurts. I feel confused and unsure of what to believe. For all the time I’ve known him, he’s never been the type to play with someone else’s feelings and has never given me any reason to think he’s lying to me now about how he feels towards me, but I don’t understand how someone can just go from having no romantic feelings towards someone to saying they’ve loved them all along in such a short time. I feel like I’ve been asked to tear out a piece of my heart, sew it shut, and now suddenly open that same wound to put everything back the way it was!
Should I just accept his feelings now? Should I be wary of this? I feel like this should be such an easy decision and yet, I just feel so confused!
Now, I understand that it is meant to empower women which is great, however it is contra productive when striving for an equalitarian society. Since exchanging the last word to many others (Male, American, ForTheRich, etc.) would make it controversial, the statement in its current form should be no different.
Claiming that "men have been in control forever, now it's time for women" is not striving for equality, it is about completely tipping the scales in another groups favor, which will in no way secure an equal opportunity. Instead it is likely to shift the oppression upon the oppressors, in the longer run maintaining the status quo only with sides switched.
I just want to point out, since it is the internet and people will misinterpret you if they can/want to, that I do believe that there are inequalities between men and women in many areas and that this is something we should fix asap! However, I do not believe that we can do so by claiming the future to "be female", just as it would not be right for it to "be male". Instead we should strive for it to "be equal".
This is my opinion at the moment but I am open to any good and valid counterarguments.
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